Red Ferrari with no spark plugs

Hello everyone.

As a first post I will start with a little bit about me and how I see those special children that are getting born by the thousands but no one has a clue what to do with them. We all assume that if we turned out all right the way our parents raised us, they will too. I don’t want them to turn out all right. I want them to grow into the beautiful Earth Guardians and share their talents with the world.

I am a dreamer, you will say, but if I am willing to work on my dreams – that, my friend, is called Visionary. So, lets be visionaries together.

I always knew I was different. Well, different-er to everyone around me. Most times it was fantastic to look at the world from inside my head. It’s not just vivid, it’s beyond words, beautiful, interconnected, patterns inside patterns – warping into themselves and coming out anew. I don’t always know what it all means, but, sure, the view is glorious!

Then again, sometimes, when I try to share with others what I see, I am sure that, if only they could see just a glimpse of what I saw, if only they could get the picture of the situation, see the blanks, the missing pieces, the misplaced elements – their lives would brighten up and they would be happier… If only I could make them understand… but, when I opened my mouth, all I did was cause even bigger confusion.

I knew what I saw, but it was impossible to make it come out in an intelligible form. What was even more confusing was that, whenever I focused on the picture to see details, it would start to open on its own like a fast forward film of how a flower blooms, flooding me with more details, connections and positions which I was unable to stop, freeze, or slow down so I could explore or name. As you can imagine, I wasn’t making a lot of sense, people would stop listening because they were bored or frustrated. And, when people are frustrated, they feel it’s their right and obligation to make you listen to them.

So, quite early, I learned to shut up and keep my craziness to myself. Of course, that didn’t mean that they were right. It only meant to me that they couldn’t understand what I did and it made me feel even lonelier, inadequate and… special.

I was feeling as if I had a fantastic, red Ferrari, very fast, powerful, beautiful… but with no spark plugs in.

I couldn’t drive what I had, I couldn’t put it to good use. I could only keep it in the garage, sit in it, look at the dashboard, at that promised speed of 300 mph, and imagine what would it be like if I could get it going.

I believe many of you have some kind of amazing red Ferrari at home. You know what I mean. It’s wonderful to be near your child, when they’re happy – it lifts your heart, the sunshine comes out, you wish for nothing more. No matter how hard the days are caring for him or her, deep in your heart you are sure that you are blessed with something extraordinary, but it confuses the hell out of you, that strong sensation of a piece missing, that, if it could only click into place, that Ferrari would outrun everything you’ve ever seen.

That’s why I started to write. To shade some light under the bonnet of that fantastic red Ferrari parked in your living room that you need just as much as he needs you.

Then again, keep an open mind, read on, but take what makes sense and leave what doesn’t, even if that means the entire book. You are the one responsible for your well-being.